Posts Tagged ‘revenge

21
Aug
14

Acrimoniously Yours

Civil Discourse-thumb-360x245-1046There’s nastiness on the tips of everyone’s tongues. Our language is more blatantly bitter, decidedly divisive, and our mouths runneth over with hate. The one thing hailed as separating us from animals, our speech, has devolved to its lowest form because its intent is to hate, not communicate. This allows our behavior to bypass thought and reason and tap directly into emotions such as rage and anger. Nothing good ever, in the history of mankind, comes from these places.

The world is slowly caving inward under the constrictive World Wide Web devoid of facts, tolerance, accountability, compassion, and truth. The Golden Rule is tarnished by people who don’t know how they want to be treated because they are so busy feeding their rage by hurting someone else.  Remember as children when we were taught to “Stop and think how you would feel if someone did that to you” and it taught us empathy and self-control?

I once had an employee who screamed at everyone all the time. Although it had been tolerated for years by prior management, when I came on board I could not allow this type of toxic language. When I asked the employee why they insisted on speaking in a hostile manner to customers and team members, they looked at me with complete bewilderment. Their answer: “That’s the way I talk to everyone, even at home!”

Are you losing your faith in humanity because you are surrounded by people who interpret “Do Tell” as “Do Spew”?  How can you exist as a peaceful, positive person in a world filled with rage? I have a couple of tips that I personally use in a valiant attempt to never let the bastards wear me down.

  1. Stop watching the news (local and global) on TV.
  2. Do not read blog posts/social media comments pertaining to local or international news.
  3. Do read books on critical thinking and/or communication. Thinking and speaking are two skills that are learned just like everything else and are honed with usage.
  4. Recognize that standards do not vacillate depending upon their application. If you begin talking to someone who advocates the same thing they are ranting about, cease communication.
  5. Present your facts from a point of humility, not of hostility, i.e., “it ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it.”
  6. Realize most people fixated on justice actually want revenge. Recognize the difference.
  7. Violence, yelling, ranting, beheading, looting, threatening, and mud-slinging never moved anyone over to see things your way.
  8. Just because someone is offended, doesn’t mean they are right.
  9. Quit tokin’ the hashtag pipe. Don’t try to stir things up with a tic-tac-toe sign. If you feel compelled to action, find something positive within your sphere that you can do to make a real difference in making the situation better.
  10. My new chant: Stop Venting! Start Relenting!

Thank you to those who diligently work to tame their own tongue and enhance their abilities to listen, reason, think, and act in a way that brings about a solution, not an exacerbation.

16
Jan
14

can i get a *false* witness?

false allegationsExodus 20:16 states, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” as one of The Ten Commandments. But it happens all the time and chances are it’s happened to you. Here are a few tips to help you deter and deal with this heinous act.

Get rid of the anonymous tip line. This is an open invitation for anyone to say anything about anyone without any proof. The Confrontation Clause of the Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that “in all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right…to be confronted with the witnesses against him.” Shouldn’t this critical right extend to our civil environment? While you may not spend time in jail, you can lose your livelihood and your reputation with the slip of a tongue.

Leaders need to recognize the potential for utter destruction to individuals and whole organizations based upon anonymous tips. The bottom line is that if you have to rely on anonymous sources to find out that something bad is going on in your organization you need to fire all your supervisors, and then fire yourself for having them there in the first place.

I once disciplined two individuals with two-day suspensions for looking at pornography on their government computers. As you can tell from the minimal punishment, this was years ago before this offense was grounds for immediate termination. An anonymous complaint was subsequently lodged against me for fraternization. The case was investigated and no evidence was found. It was well known who was behind the complaint and that it was an act of retribution. Time lost, money wasted, and character assassinated based on a vendetta.

Ensure all allegations have been validated through the chain of command and dealt with at the appropriate level. I have had many issues brought to my attention that skipped levels of the chain. When this occurred, I would tell the accuser that I was going to call the accused into my office so that they could be made aware of the allegations. In each of these instances the accuser recanted immediately.

Where there’s no smoke, there’s no fire. If an accuser wishes to pursue I tell them I will investigate and that I Salemneed their documentation or any other proof of the allegation. If they had none and they wished to pursue investigation, I would tell them that if the allegations came back unfounded, they would be punished accordingly for lying, slander, or libel. This action is actually rooted in the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, chapter 19:18-19: “And the judges shall make careful inquiry, and indeed, if the witness is a false witness, who has testified falsely against his brother, then you shall do to him as he thought to have done to his brother; so you shall put away the evil from among you.”

As a young officer, I had an enlistee come to me with allegations against one of my senior NCOs. It was well known that the accuser was not willing to comply with their duties in the unit. I acknowledged that it was my duty to investigate these various serious allegations but that, based on the fact that no proof was brought forward with the allegation, if I found no wrong doing on the Senior NCO’s part, I would pursue action against the airman for false allegations. The accuser recanted everything.

Retribution is a dead-end street. The best thing to do when faced with a false witness is to do nothing. Since the allegation is false, it is motivated by insecurity, rage, jealousy, or narcissism. Your reputation and actions are the best prevention and vindication in these situations. This will also be the critical time to watch what your chain of command does. If they investigate to see if there is proof to back up the allegations versus proof to warrant an investigation in the first place, you need to leave this organization. If they take unfounded allegations without any proof and ring the investigation bell, the damage is already done. Your character has been shot, and it will never be the same, even if you are completely exonerated. This is why I follow the investigation advice in Deuteronomy.

Justice is the Lord’s, not yours, and He can do it far better than you can. So don’t even worry about it. The only court you should ever plead your case to is the higher courts. There are numerous times where I could have sued organizations and probably never had to work again. But for what? It does nothing to fix the organization that allowed it to happen in the first place and is a devastating drain on you emotionally, financially, and professionally.

Keep your conscience clean and don’t return in kind. When I was in these situations I took it as a call from God to move on to the next challenge. This horrible event (and believe me, I know how horrible this situation can be) is happening for me, not to me. Call it karma, call it guardian angels, call it the wrath of God, I have personally witnessed what happens to false witnesses in my life and it is far worse than any action I could have taken against them.

Twice I have had false witnesses come against me in an attempt to force me out of an organization and twice I left of my own free will for better opportunities. Both of these organizations were closed within five years of my departures. I’m not saying it has anything to do with me specifically, but rather that evil begets evil, and it does eventually catch up.

If people received life sentences for character assassination the world would be a much more respectful and truthful place. In this age of global gossip and uncivil discourse it is critical that we maintain the highest degree of integrity and accountability and ensure that it is a committed part of our organization’s culture. 




Tremendous Tracey


CEO Tremendous Life Books. Book Evangelist

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