Starting Clean in 2014

Colonoscopies are tremendous. That’s right, you heard it from me. After achieving a milestone birthday this year, I promptly scheduled a procedure that showed I had finally arrived in the second-half-century club. What a happy coincidence that my procedure was scheduled for the second-to-last day of the year; a fitting metaphor to say the least.

Toxins are just as lethal in your heart and mind as they are in your body. No matter how hard you try, life includes the build-up of contamination; it’s just a fact. You get discouraged, people say mean things to you, and you get hurt. But sometimes you must make a conscious decision to cleanse yourself.

Joyce Meyer has a great quip: “Complain and Remain.” So take this opportunity at the start of a New Year to wash out all the crap, and work each day to ensure it stays away. There’s more to foul language than four-letter words. Any kind of negativity or whining is toxic to both the transmitter and the receiver.  The good news is that you can flush your mind daily by filling it with positive people and tremendous reading material. Ignore negativity, gossip, and good old-fashioned bitching and see how quiet and peaceful your life will become.

Your body is a temple, not a dump. Treat it that way and remember to Flush It in ‘14!!

I need a seriously uplifting transfusion

I may be tired of being happy, but I am tired nonetheless. I am tired emotionally because I am dealing with a sister and a dog who are both battling cancer. I am tired because of the vitriolic polarization of our own nation. I am tired of no one accepting any kind of responsibility for their own actions or the actions of their children. I am tired of the pronounced evil I see across the globe. I am tired, tired, tired.

I’ve been emotionally and mentally drained the past month. Which isn’t to say that I haven’t been unbelievably blessed during that time frame; it just means my spirit is running low. I just can’t get my thoughts focused on what I’m trying to say. And then it hits me. It’s time for me to be quiet and receive, not transmit. My mind typically sees so many different things in just one moment or in a single flicker, so it’s nice to be able to drift for a while. I need replenishing. We all do. Our strength comes from outside of ourselves. We are not self-sustaining ecosystems like a terrarium. We need input to grow.

Put down the pen, the telephone, the laptop, the remote, and pick up a book.  As the Bible says, “Be still and know that I am God.” When I am tired, it’s because I’ve depleted myself. I need to refill in order to keep going. And the higher the pace, the more resources are needed. Many times after hearing my father, the late, great Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, speak, people would ask me if he was always like that. For those of you who have not heard him, he was quite the energetic force of nature on and off stage. People were amazed and envious of his boundless energy and unbridled enthusiasm.

The answer is ‘yes’. Growing up I used to think it’s just because he was strong or had a resilient temperament. And while both are true, the reason behind his ability to never be tired was his constant drinking from the well of words of others. People often cry out that they wish God would speak to them, or that they wish they had a few more words to exchange with a loved one. Well, the next best thing to hearing someone speak is to read their words. And in the case of someone no longer with us on this Earth, it’s the first best thing.

So I’m writing to you today, dear reader, because I started reading again. I was stuck; I was tired; I was in a rut. But now that I’m reading I slowly feel the life force flowing again through my veins. I’ve got some really tough and tiring times ahead. I better make sure my blood bank of a library has an endless supply of Be Positive. Luckily….it does.

the space between

The space between your ears defines the space between the words. Do you see your present existence as “opportunities nowhere” or as “opportunities now here”?  So many times we lament our current state. Our life’s great passion is complaining about our work, our finances, our relationships. We have opportunities nowhere in sight which justifies our lack of initiative, action and positive attitude. All you have is within you so it’s up to you to define your moment and find that space between.

“The perfect place to begin is exactly where you are right now.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Objects in mirror are more powerful than they appear

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, “This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often.”

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, “That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again.”

This ancient Japanese folktale makes an important point. All the people we meet and the books we read are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see as a result of your literal and literary associations? What we project out from our inner being is what gets reflected back to us. Some call it karma, the law of attraction, or even divine justice. But whatever the case, it is an absolute universal truth in life regardless of your race, religion or reading habits.

By controlling our thoughts, we see happy reflections everywhere. By controlling who is in our lives and what goes into our minds, we continue to manifest even more positive reflections. Whatever feelings and attitudes we project will often be reflected right back at us by the people around us. And if we choose wisely, we can transform ourselves into a person who is happy within and projects happiness throughout.

all I want for Christmas is attitude

Attitude is often characterized as a negative or positive reaction to anything in our environment; a reaction that changes as a result of experience. I want to possess the attitude of the woman in the story below:

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmmm, ” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said, “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head….

“YEAH!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!” (Unknown)

Sheldon Koggs said, “All of the significant battles are waged within the self.”  This Christmas the best gift I can imagine is the ability to look past the externals and always display an attitude of thankfulness.

the dark side

 My dog, Mr. Blue, and I recently delivered annual training to the tremendous faculty at Douglas Education Center in Monessen, Pennsylvania. At the end of the program, someone asked a question about how to deal with negative people. I asked if she meant in their personal or professional life and she said, “Take your choice.” They entire audience laughed. Point well taken, negativity is found in all areas, broadcast on the news 24/7, and for some people becomes their sole means of communication.

All Human Resources manuals have a list of actions that are grounds for termination. I personally would put negativity at the top of the list, although it’s often an activity that is allowed to continue unchecked. I have never been able to understand this. When I was in the military, negativity was labeled as insubordination. In personal relationships, negativity marks the beginning of the end. In work, negativity can manifest itself in gossip, backstabbing, active disengagement, and even sabotage.

The Chief Motivational Hound, Mr. Blue, refers to this as “biting the hand that feeds you”. It is one of mankind’s worst traits. It’s a cancer that spreads and takes over the organism and can only be “cured” by cutting it out in its entirety. Negativity is a form of fraud. If you are negative at work, you are not earning your pay, hence you are stealing. If you are negative in a relationship, you are stealing the other person’s emotions and time. If you are negative in your outlook on life, you are squandering the greatest gift of all.

So my answer to the question was simple—cut it out of your life. Life is too short to not be thankful even for the mistakes we make and the bad things that happen to us and to those we love. If you cannot keep your mouth and emotions in check, you will spread your toxic attitude to everyone with whom you come in contact. My advice is to quarantine yourself until you are thinking positively and stay far away from those who might infect you with their virus.

Make your 2012 resolution now to surround yourself with only positive influences. That may mean changing coworkers or even jobs, separating from existing friends or relationships, or emancipating yourself from family drama. As Mr. Blue quotes, “When you feel dog-tired at night, it may be because you’ve growled all day long.”  So stay away from the dark side and move into the light!

Mr. Blue shares some hound wisdom.

well read is well fed

Growing up, I had the pleasure of traveling with my father to many of his speaking engagements. He was one of the most animated, pragmatic and energetic individuals ever. I would interact with the crowds after his speeches and would repeatedly get asked the same question: “Is he always like that?” We seem to disbelieve that anyone can be that up ALL the time. Life is tough at times so how can anyone be that consistently happy?

The answer was “yes”. His stage presence was not an act. Thank God he had that outlet so he could vent some of his enthusiasm into the atmosphere. There was only so much positivity we could take at home! The source of this unbridled enthusiasm was a healthy diet of reading great books and interacting with great people. It also was the direct result of his constant pouring out. When you pour it out, you will be replenished. The more he gave, the more he got. He would shovel out books, smiles, hugs and witticisms like it was his last day on Earth.

Do you look at “upbeat” people who seem to “have it all together” and think, “I wish I could be more like them!” You can. Want to exude more positivity and energy? Ingest more of it. Be sure you make healthy choices about what and who you watch, read, hear and say. What comes out of you is a direct reflection of what’s going in. If you want to be confident in whatever life throws your way, you’ve got to be in a constant state of learning. If you want to be calm when great losses happen to you, you’ve got to feed your heart and soul. Just like the old 60’s song, “what goes up, must come down”, never forget that what goes in, must come out. What’s coming out of you and are you always like that?

what planet are you from?

I was at a speaker’s retreat last weekend. There is nothing like getting together with 30 of the most seasoned speakers on the planet to get your mind churning. One of them asked me why bad habits seem to come naturally instead of good ones and why it’s so hard to discipline ourselves to do the right thing. Why is sitting on the couch so easy when going to the gym is not. Why is vegging in front of the TV so comfortable while concentrating on reading and writing sometimes gives me a headache!! Why is the world like this?

Part of this cosmic conundrum is that it is simply a function of the physical order of the universe. Entropy states that everything begins to break down from order to disorder in isolated systems. The other part is the status of human nature. We are fallen according to the accounts of the origin of man in many religions. Why, just look at our cohabitants on this planet. Animals don’t become overweight on their own or lounge about when there’s work to do. Only humans do.  Why isn’t the path of least resistance the one that produces the best results for me physically, mentally and spiritually? Do you know how skinny, rich, and smart I’d be? Why was I born on a planet where discipline is so darn hard? Rats!

The eminent psychologist, Douglas McGregor, outlined this distinction regarding human motivation by describing these two worlds as Theory X and Theory Y. Theory X makes the assumption that all people are inherently lazy, self centered, and will try and avoid work unless persuaded. Theory Y states that work is as natural as play and that man can be creative and self-motivated.

So what planet are you from? Do you want to blast off from Slacktooine to colonize Achieva? Here’s how:

1. Don’t remain isolated. Interact with great people, read great books, and be a part of great organizations. Once you begin to inject the orderly and positive into your solitary system, you’ll open yourself up to a new world order.
2. Answer to a higher authority. Whether you’re religious or not, let’s face it, sin comes as naturally to the most pious priest as it does to the most apathetic atheist. We’ve all got to fight the seven deadly sins and all the horrible things that result from them. Find a group, religion, book, or person that helps you follow the rules and moral code of society in order to become a law-abiding citizen embedded with a conscientious character chip.
3. Find your passion. When you love what you do, a dreary job transforms into a thrilling career where you can profit from your gifts every single day! You get to tune into what feels most natural to you and makes the best use of your talents. It’s much easier to be creative and motivate yourself to do things if you’ve got the inherent skills and temperament for the task. If you’re not in it right now, find it as fast as you can and live the rest of your life having a professional party of interplanetary proportions!

let’s get the “h” out of there!!!

Swearing was verboten in my house growing up. Decades later I still shudder thinking about the consequences if we had. The closest we ever got to profanity was using the letter “h” to refer to “hell”; such as in the spelling “h” “e” “double tooth pick” (which referred to Hades) or in telling someone “let’s get the “h” out of there!”

I’ve spent the last four weeks with my rescue dog, Ruby, unlocking all the secrets of her canine mind. She was scared of certain things. Due to my inability to pinpoint exactly what was frightening her, I met with a behavioral specialist who used relaxation protocol and a bag full of turkey hot dogs as positive reinforcement.

With each new sight or sound, I looked in Ruby’s eyes, spoke calmly, and plied her with treats. She slowly began to realize that things that had previously scared her were now harbingers of her favorite snack.

In short, Ruby quickly learned how to turn a “threat” into a “treat” by getting the “h” out of there. I wish I could be such a quick learner! One little change in your attitude leads to a whole different outlook on life.

Hans Selye said, “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” Truer words were never barked!