Posts Tagged ‘personal responsibility

03
Apr
13

Does This Excuse Make My But Look Big?

motivationalexcusesstopsignSpring is a time for rebirth and regeneration. Whether it’s cutting back the dead limbs in your garden or cleaning out your closets, it’s all about out eliminating the non-productive to make way for the fruitful and useful.

It is just as important to weed your mind as it is your physical surroundings, and now is a great time to prune the word “but” from your vocabulary.  Excuses are the mental weeds that strangle any chance at new growth regardless of how many new seeds you plant.

Excuses thrive in two kinds of soil. The first are things we will not do despite the direct negative impact of inaction, such as developing a healthier lifestyle. These “buts” are insidious because you just don’t care enough about yourself to take action. The second grows from things we will not stop. This could be allowing negative people to stay in our lives and allowing ourselves to be compromised.  This but is fertilized by the guilt-and-fear excuse and thrives in an enabling personality.

I like big buts, I cannot lie; but not anymore. I am a recovered excusaholic, and like any recovered addict, when people come to me and state the same issue or problem over and over I want to scold them like a child only because I know the years of waste and stress it cost me.

Excuses are like interest payments. They take away from your principal and you get absolutely nothing in return, not even a write-off.  Oftentimes the only way to get off your but is when the results are so positive or so painful that you must take action. If you keep repeating the same excuses rather than taking action you aren’t at this point yet. It’s that simple.

I recently read a statement about the endless circle of repeating excuses as “all retch and no vomit.” How grossly appropriate! When we allow ourselves to be subjected to thankless, negative, or even unethical individuals we become poisoned by them.  It’s not their fault, it’s ours. When we lack the discipline of self esteem to break a negative habit and cling to our big buts we are poisoning ourselves. Excuses are rationalizations and when we rationalize all we are doing is reinforcing our rational lies.

Better to be silent than to regurgitate the same old retch over and over again. Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This includes making excuses. For things to change first you must change. And a big but doesn’t look good on anybody.

11
Feb
13

I Hate My Job

hate-my-job1Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
― Kent M. Keith

So you hate your job. Of course you do! How do I know? It’s the nature of the beast. There’s a reason for it. My father, the late Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, said “God never made a job that would make a man, but he made any man who could make a job.” This is a scary statement because it puts the burden squarely on the shoulders of the individual and not on the company, boss, or co-workers. Was my father saying that if I hate my job what I’m really saying is that I hate myself??

No job is worthy of anything. It’s just a title, a line on a P&L sheet, a job description, but what makes it come alive and have value is you. So if you hate your job, let’s be honest. It’s simply that you just don’t care enough to make it come alive. The workforce is filled to the brim with employees billing 40 hours of bitching and cyberloafing. The cost of disengagement is staggering.

How do I know this? I’ve worked alongside—and even worked for—many people who hated their jobs. I knew this because of the way they sloughed off dealing with problems, trying to build succession plans, and spending most of their time building silos to protect their turf and friends or family members. If they loved their job, they would have been man or woman enough to actually make it.

Growing up in various career fields, I remember asking my father why I continually found that the harder I worked the more people within the organization seemed to work against me. He said, “You can either work for someone else, or you can work for yourself. But as long as you work for someone else, this will always happen.”  Oh no!!! Again with putting the responsibility for my professional happiness squarely on me!!

Your job has nothing to do with your idiotic boss, or the lame process-improvement team you just got assigned to. You can’t get anything out of any job. You can only put things into it. It’s all about what you can bring to it. There will never be a job or a boss or a title that truly credits, sees, and reflects all that you do. Work is about growing and giving back, not about what you can get out of it. It’s meant for you to grow, and take risks, and be thrown under the bus, and get back up! Man, that’s tough! No wonder we hate it!

In some countries, workers don’t get the choice to decide where they want to work. In America, we do. This Right to Work comes with the rejection of victimization, and the embracing of the personal responsibility for one’s own state in life, and that goes for professional, not just personal. My father also said, “The best way to get a better job is to do a better job.” If we are serious about growing and giving back, we will always strive to do a better job because it’s the right thing to do. And if you get to the point where you are not able to do, or actually get penalized for doing, the right thing, it’s essential that you move on to a job where you can.

10
Apr
12

Never say never, unless……

The word to never say: “Why”

Only children ask “why”.  It reflects something that has transpired and is the equivalent to crying over spilt milk. It is what it is and the only possible course of action is to respond. When you ask “Why” you are reacting, most often wallowing in self pity or making an excuse for not taking action. Instead of asking “why”, ask “how” you can move forward, “how” you can ensure something does or doesn’t happen again, “how” you can benefit from the experience.

The act to never do: “Quit”

You can want to quit, we all do, but don’t do it. Don’t ever give up on your dreams, your passion, or doing what you know needs to be done. If it’s getting tougher, it means you are doing it right. Trials are the precursors to triumph. You are going through the fires in order to emerge as something stronger. Don’t pull away too early or you’ll suffer a literal stress fracture. If we quit prematurely we set the stage to repeat the cycle in our next job, relationship, or group.

The thing to never forget: “Purpose”

Purpose is what courses through our veins. It’s why we get up in the morning and sleep only when we absolutely have to. It’s what drives us to take action despite insurmountable odds. When we discover that something worth fighting (even dying) for, nothing can stand in our way. It’s nothing to go against all odds when you are committed to the outcome. After all, it’s your reason for being on this planet.

Never ask “why”, never “quit”, and never forget you are here for a “purpose”. If you remember these three things you’ll be able to meet all the challenges life has in store to develop you and achieve your highest potential. They say “Never say never”, but in these three cases, make sure it’s the first word out of your mouth!

25
Oct
11

occupy your own street

Everything man has ever thought of or laid a finger on is corrupt. It’s just a reflection of our nature. And I’m sorry Star Trek: The Next Generation, I love you but we are not evolving to a higher social consciousness where everyone, regardless of gender, is called “Sir”. The laws of human nature just aren’t set up like that. Every company, organization, or bureaucracy I’ve ever worked for had illegal, immoral or unethical elements. That’s because they are made up of people and absolute power corrupts absolutely. That never stopped me from doing my best and working in all different kinds of industries where I learned a great deal. When they got to a point where I felt I could no longer give my 110% support due to some kind of ethical, financial, or legal lapse I witnessed, I left.

A great many people are fuming about the lack of work. Growing up in my house, the lack of a job was never any excuse not to work. In his Key to Excellence speech, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones had this to say: “You say, “What if I don’t have a job?” You work anyway. You say you can’t work without a job. Don’t you tell me that!  My father raised five of us in the depression with no mother years ago when there was no work. He worked. And you know you can’t live without breathing. Well, you can’t live right without working. It’s life. Work.”

I’m an independent publisher who’s made the business decision to partner with other small businesses worldwide and give all profits away as part of our Foundation. They go to scholarships, homeless shelters and missions groups. That’s just how I do it because that’s where our convictions lie, not because someone protested that I do so. And I don’t concern myself with other business owners who don’t see things through my philanthropic-colored glasses. It’s their business, their life, their conscience, and even if I could prove them “wrong” in some way, what good does that do?

Norman Vincent Peale said it best: “Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” And of course I wouldn’t be worth a hill of beans unless I recommended two books that illustrate that giving something to someone for free condemns them to a life of insatiable want. 8 Attributes of Great Achievers , by Cameron C. Taylor, has an amazing chapter on wealth and whether it can be created or if there is a finite amount which must constantly be redistributed. And then there’s our best seller, “The Ultimate Gift”, where a poor man works tirelessly to gain tremendous wealth, bestows it all freely on his family, and ruins them in the process.

I found an old book published in 1914 on my father’s bookshelf the other week by Maurice Switzer titled, “Letters of a Self-Made Failure.” The opening illustration shows a man at a deli counter with the inscription, “You can take it from me that a ham sandwich paid for out of your hard-earned cash is a lot more enjoyable than a free ten-course banquet at the swellest hotel in town.”  So quit stressing about who did what to whom and focus on yourself. Corruption is a fact of life; all you can do is make sure you refuse to be any part of it and that your own street is spic-and-span and accessible to all.




Tremendous Tracey


CEO Tremendous Life Books. Book Evangelist

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