Posts Tagged ‘negativity

03
Jul
13

TGIF! Thank God I’m Free!!

FREEDOM Flag 3I am a happy person by nature. I am also strong and tolerant. That means I tend to attract those who are, as well as those who are not. Unfortunately, on planet Earth, the latter outnumber the former, so you do the math. While some people create drama, my life seemed destined to attract it.

I became aware of this as a young girl when my father called me a “weirdo magnet.”  So, after a half century of hearing thousands of bitches, complaints, whines, and excuses, I am turning that channel off.  I am finally free to be me, and just in time for Independence Day!!

Freedom from everyone’s expectations!

I am free because I am finally doing exactly what I should with my life. No more chasing other people’s ideas of what a good job is, no more going into jobs to fix what others should have corrected years ago. Why, even my father didn’t ask me to come back and run the family business on his death bed. He knew it had to be my choice alone. I also no longer expect bosses to be fair and ethical. I know that, while there are some who are, there are many more who aren’t. I no longer have to deal with them. I am free to make as much money as I want to give to organizations that I know will make the world a better place.

Freedom from everyone’s drama!

I am free because I no longer allow myself to engage in drama with others, including family members. I just give the old stormtrooper’s wave-off, “Move along, nothing to listen to here.” This may seem harsh, but the true cruelty is when you allow people to continuously wallow in their own self pity and poor self esteem. It’s like the old Nik Kershaw song, “You gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure.” Emotional vampires don’t care about getting advice from you; they just want to suck the life out of you. Pull out the garlic cloves and holy water and tell them to be gone!!

Freedom from everyone’s manipulation!

I am free because I am true to myself and my beliefs. I don’t get drawn into arguments anymore. I don’t fall prey to subtle forms of manipulation such as false praise or subtle digs. I follow my principles even if they are unpopular, or they cost me a neighbor, an author, a boyfriend, or even a family member. We all die alone and in the end, the only person we have to answer to is God. Don’t believe? Then don’t you worry about it. And don’t try and bring me down because I have faith and you don’t.

You know you’re on the right track when you’re uninterested in looking back. The quieter you become the more you can hear. Know what you believe, and why you believe what you believe, so you can get to the heart of what believing is really all about.

07
Jun
13

complaining won’t fill your till

Dr-EvilAs a writer, publisher, and book purveyor, I always read literary news with great interest. I’ve been in the military, high tech, and government contracting, and the world of publishing is just as volatile and crazy as any of them. Yesterday, an article on the web complained that Amazon was destroying Britain’s book industry through its rock-bottom pricing, ruthless corporate behavior, and grotesquely unfair tax arrangements.

So what’s your point? Welcome to life on Earth. Corporations are ruthless, life isn’t fair, and if you aren’t pricing everything as competitively as possible you won’t be running your business for long. When I worked in semiconductor manufacturing, it was obvious that factories outsourced to lower-cost regions to get that rock-bottom pricing; and when I was in government contracting I saw some pretty ruthless corporate behavior.

You must react to changes in your industry sooner rather than later. Pretending it’s not going to happen is not an option, yet we do this all the time. For all our claims that flexibility is the key to airpower, human beings will always loathe change. If something is radically changing in your industry (and it always is) do something differently than you’ve done it before. Repeat this cycle every day of every month of every year as long as you are breathing. And ruthless behavior, not just in corporations, is a fact of life. Only you have the power to decide how much ruthlessness you are going to expose yourself to.

How can I attract more business aside from calling my competitors jackasses? We’ve all heard of the ‘Law of Attraction’, yet you’d think everyone had a Ph.D. in the ‘Law of Repulsion’! Stop telling me how horrible your adversary is. All’s fair in love and war and ESPECIALLY in business. Don’t tell me what the other person is doing wrong, fill my head with all the things you are doing right and what that means to me! Just because you say a competitor sucks, that doesn’t make me feel drawn to you any more than insisting that my political party is corrupt makes me want to switch sides. I’m too busy being creative to worry about how to ‘dis’ my opponent. Imagine if we all engaged in conversations where we were actually passionate about what we believed in instead of spewing out hate about the opposition.

Books are sacred. They aren’t ordinary objects like TVs or even fighter jets. If you can hold it in your hand, you can keep it in your heart. And yes, you can buy our books on Amazon. But if I haven’t convinced you why you should stop by our website or call and order directly from us, than I’ve got no one to blame but myself. So stop competing and start achieving! Stop complaining and start promoting! And for God’s sake, stop pointing at the problem and start being a part of the solution!

06
Dec
12

The dangers of an empty mind

meatin-minds-final1It is not enough that we purge negative people and things from our lives; we have to put something in their place. Nature abhors a vacuum so unless you begin the process of filling it up with positive things, the negative will seep back in and multiply!

In spiritual terms we call it backsliding. In terms of addiction, we call it “falling off the wagon”.  Anyone who has dealt with purging a demon, literal or symbolic, knows that it is a never-ending battle where you must walk very close to the source of the light lest you end up tumbling back deeper into the infinite darkness.

I remember meeting a Marine Colonel when I was in my early 20s. He was tough, as Marine Colonels should be. I clearly recall his comment to me about the importance of disciplining what goes into your mind. He said, as only a Marine can, “Trash in, trash out.” Meaning, you better watch what you watch on TV, choose carefully which on friends you let into your life, and censor your reading list. And he didn’t mean just now, he meant every second of your life.

The battle for the mind is the most important struggle any of us will ever be involved in. If we do not make a continuous effort to fill our minds with good things, evil things will return and multiply with a vengeance. Spend all your time in front of the boob tube, you become a boob.  Read trash and you become a trashy talker of trash. My father had a witty way of putting it: “Hang around great people and you’ll be greater person. Hang around givers and you’ll be a better giver. Hang around a bunch of thumb-sucking, complaining, griping boneheads and you’ll be a better thumb-sucking, complaining, griping bonehead.”

Don’t let negative influences rent space in your head; they will soon possess your whole body! The transformation of character begins with the renewing of the mind. Make 2013 the year you decide to make your synapses sizzle with great people and great books. As Charlie “Tremendous” Jones said, “You are the same today as you’ll be in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.” Make sure they are both able to fill the vacant spot between your ears with the best of the best and forget the rest!

06
Dec
11

the dark side

 My dog, Mr. Blue, and I recently delivered annual training to the tremendous faculty at Douglas Education Center in Monessen, Pennsylvania. At the end of the program, someone asked a question about how to deal with negative people. I asked if she meant in their personal or professional life and she said, “Take your choice.” They entire audience laughed. Point well taken, negativity is found in all areas, broadcast on the news 24/7, and for some people becomes their sole means of communication.

All Human Resources manuals have a list of actions that are grounds for termination. I personally would put negativity at the top of the list, although it’s often an activity that is allowed to continue unchecked. I have never been able to understand this. When I was in the military, negativity was labeled as insubordination. In personal relationships, negativity marks the beginning of the end. In work, negativity can manifest itself in gossip, backstabbing, active disengagement, and even sabotage.

The Chief Motivational Hound, Mr. Blue, refers to this as “biting the hand that feeds you”. It is one of mankind’s worst traits. It’s a cancer that spreads and takes over the organism and can only be “cured” by cutting it out in its entirety. Negativity is a form of fraud. If you are negative at work, you are not earning your pay, hence you are stealing. If you are negative in a relationship, you are stealing the other person’s emotions and time. If you are negative in your outlook on life, you are squandering the greatest gift of all.

So my answer to the question was simple—cut it out of your life. Life is too short to not be thankful even for the mistakes we make and the bad things that happen to us and to those we love. If you cannot keep your mouth and emotions in check, you will spread your toxic attitude to everyone with whom you come in contact. My advice is to quarantine yourself until you are thinking positively and stay far away from those who might infect you with their virus.

Make your 2012 resolution now to surround yourself with only positive influences. That may mean changing coworkers or even jobs, separating from existing friends or relationships, or emancipating yourself from family drama. As Mr. Blue quotes, “When you feel dog-tired at night, it may be because you’ve growled all day long.”  So stay away from the dark side and move into the light!

Mr. Blue shares some hound wisdom.




Tremendous Tracey


CEO Tremendous Life Books. Book Evangelist

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