Posts Tagged ‘negative people

03
Jul
13

TGIF! Thank God I’m Free!!

FREEDOM Flag 3I am a happy person by nature. I am also strong and tolerant. That means I tend to attract those who are, as well as those who are not. Unfortunately, on planet Earth, the latter outnumber the former, so you do the math. While some people create drama, my life seemed destined to attract it.

I became aware of this as a young girl when my father called me a “weirdo magnet.”  So, after a half century of hearing thousands of bitches, complaints, whines, and excuses, I am turning that channel off.  I am finally free to be me, and just in time for Independence Day!!

Freedom from everyone’s expectations!

I am free because I am finally doing exactly what I should with my life. No more chasing other people’s ideas of what a good job is, no more going into jobs to fix what others should have corrected years ago. Why, even my father didn’t ask me to come back and run the family business on his death bed. He knew it had to be my choice alone. I also no longer expect bosses to be fair and ethical. I know that, while there are some who are, there are many more who aren’t. I no longer have to deal with them. I am free to make as much money as I want to give to organizations that I know will make the world a better place.

Freedom from everyone’s drama!

I am free because I no longer allow myself to engage in drama with others, including family members. I just give the old stormtrooper’s wave-off, “Move along, nothing to listen to here.” This may seem harsh, but the true cruelty is when you allow people to continuously wallow in their own self pity and poor self esteem. It’s like the old Nik Kershaw song, “You gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure.” Emotional vampires don’t care about getting advice from you; they just want to suck the life out of you. Pull out the garlic cloves and holy water and tell them to be gone!!

Freedom from everyone’s manipulation!

I am free because I am true to myself and my beliefs. I don’t get drawn into arguments anymore. I don’t fall prey to subtle forms of manipulation such as false praise or subtle digs. I follow my principles even if they are unpopular, or they cost me a neighbor, an author, a boyfriend, or even a family member. We all die alone and in the end, the only person we have to answer to is God. Don’t believe? Then don’t you worry about it. And don’t try and bring me down because I have faith and you don’t.

You know you’re on the right track when you’re uninterested in looking back. The quieter you become the more you can hear. Know what you believe, and why you believe what you believe, so you can get to the heart of what believing is really all about.

27
Dec
12

Are you Slacktose Intolerant?

dilbert-slackerOffer the lazy an egg, and they’ll want you to peel it for them.

– A Proverb

Slacktose intolerance, also called loser phobia and hypomalaisa, is the inability to digest poor performance, lack of initiative, and failure to accept responsibility. Slacktose-intolerant individuals have insufficient levels of desire to digest those who display repeated bouts of negativity, an inability to digest any amount of responsibility avoidance, and suffer from chronic aversion to thumb sucking. Symptoms include disgust, irritable bowel syndrome, and even the primal fight-or-flight instinct in those with a heightened sensitivity.

Recommended treatments include speaking to the infected individual regarding their condition. If they do not seek immediate aid they are to be removed from your world. The Centers for Disease Control should start including laziness in their list of highly infectious-diseases due to the amount of damage slackers can do to an entire organization. The good news is, once the affected area has been cut out, recovery rates are 100 percent!

I can remember hearing the late, great Zig Ziglar say, “Are you a SNIOP? Someone who is Sensitive to the Negative Influence of Others?” Why, yes I am!! That described me to a “T”! I am a flexible, easy going person, but when faced with lazy or indecisive individuals my righteous indignation meter gets pegged! I am sensitive to the influence of negative and lazy people! In fact, I am so highly allergic that I suffer violent reactions! Charles Horace Mayo, co-founder of the Mayo clinic said, “You must avoid sloth, that wicked siren.” Amen brother, even the medical field recognized that laziness is a horrible disease!

It’s a universal truth: if you are unwilling to learn to help yourself, how on earth am I going to help you? In the world of psychology, it’s called “enabling”, i.e., doing things for people that they could or should do for themselves. This can happen in both our professional and personal worlds and is a recipe for disaster. Nothing good ever comes of this, not in a million years. Once you accept there is no cure for the afflicted you can lay off taking guilt trips and the repetitive rationalizations. They simply must heal themselves.

An organization that is slacktose tolerant suffers from weak management. A relationship that is slacktose tolerant suffers from enabling behavior. In each case the person provides excuses or otherwise makes it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior through the sound of silence, i.e., indifference.

The greatest battle is the one within the self so stop trying to “fix” other people’s issues by allowing their type of behavior to continue to manifest itself. Don’t refuse to take action for fear of their angry response to you cutting them off and out. And be proud when they call you intolerant and self-righteous because that’s exactly what you are; slacktose intolerant with a supreme respect for the power of the individual self to control their own destiny. There is not going to be any meeting of the minds. But then again, you already knew that. Saint-John Perse said, “The only menace is inertia” and that’s one menace we can all take immediate action to avoid.

06
Dec
12

The dangers of an empty mind

meatin-minds-final1It is not enough that we purge negative people and things from our lives; we have to put something in their place. Nature abhors a vacuum so unless you begin the process of filling it up with positive things, the negative will seep back in and multiply!

In spiritual terms we call it backsliding. In terms of addiction, we call it “falling off the wagon”.  Anyone who has dealt with purging a demon, literal or symbolic, knows that it is a never-ending battle where you must walk very close to the source of the light lest you end up tumbling back deeper into the infinite darkness.

I remember meeting a Marine Colonel when I was in my early 20s. He was tough, as Marine Colonels should be. I clearly recall his comment to me about the importance of disciplining what goes into your mind. He said, as only a Marine can, “Trash in, trash out.” Meaning, you better watch what you watch on TV, choose carefully which on friends you let into your life, and censor your reading list. And he didn’t mean just now, he meant every second of your life.

The battle for the mind is the most important struggle any of us will ever be involved in. If we do not make a continuous effort to fill our minds with good things, evil things will return and multiply with a vengeance. Spend all your time in front of the boob tube, you become a boob.  Read trash and you become a trashy talker of trash. My father had a witty way of putting it: “Hang around great people and you’ll be greater person. Hang around givers and you’ll be a better giver. Hang around a bunch of thumb-sucking, complaining, griping boneheads and you’ll be a better thumb-sucking, complaining, griping bonehead.”

Don’t let negative influences rent space in your head; they will soon possess your whole body! The transformation of character begins with the renewing of the mind. Make 2013 the year you decide to make your synapses sizzle with great people and great books. As Charlie “Tremendous” Jones said, “You are the same today as you’ll be in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.” Make sure they are both able to fill the vacant spot between your ears with the best of the best and forget the rest!




Tremendous Tracey


CEO Tremendous Life Books. Book Evangelist

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