Posts Tagged ‘judgement

13
Jun
13

Avoid the Clichés this Father’s Day

TinceDadAlthough known for being a world class comedian, my father was the consummate pragmatist. His ability to blend the bitter with the sweet echoed in many people’s hearts because that’s truly the essence of life. While some fathers raised their daughters by consistently heaping praise on them about how beautiful they were and how they could become anything they wanted, I received much more practical advice. Here’s the best of the best!

Earn Your Stripes! Dad used to tell the story about the young salesman who asked the old-timer how he had managed to be so successful. The old-timer replied “Good Judgment”. The young man then asked, “Well, how do you get good judgment?” The old-timer replied, “Experience”. The young man, eager to learn all he could, pressed on, “Well, how do you get experience?” To which the old man replied, “Poor judgment.” The road to success entails a lot of required failures. The only way to get promoted through the ranks is to do the grunt work.

Be Happy Miserable! I learned much while traveling to meetings with my LilTincefather.  There was a recurring routine we used to do while I was still little enough for him to hold me in his arms. At the end of a speech he’d call me up on stage and say, “Tracey, how are you?” And I’d say “Tremendous!” And then he’d ask, “How are things going?” And I’d say, “I hope things don’t get any better!” and he’d say “Why?” And I’d exclaim “Because I’m so tired of being happy it’s wearing me out!!!” Life’s tough; it’s tougher if you don’t have a positive attitude.

Quit Thumb-Sucking! When I would call my father lamenting about the nonsense I had to endure at my job he’d interrupt “You can either work for someone else, or you can work for yourself. As long as someone else is your boss, this will always happen.” The second thing he would say when I would angst over how hurtful the slander, the betrayal, and malice, was “Do you think that what you are going through is a fraction of the pain and suffering Christ endured?” Followed up by the ever popular, “You’re never a failure until you blame somebody else!”

It’s Not About You! Two things I heard over and over again growing up really helped me avoid showing up at my own pity party. First, my Dad used to say, “Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” So how could I bellyache about a trial or tribulation that was actually the fire designed to forge me into something stronger?

So what kind of a father did you have? With the alarming rate of absentee fathers, it makes me think about all of the girls who won’t get the chance to even interact with their fathers. Whether you’re a laid-back nurturer or a “tough love” kind of dad matters not. What’s important is that you impart your wisdom and presence. Because believe me, it makes all the difference in the world.

 

02
Aug
12

This is a free country, right???

I remember back in the mid ‘90s when the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy under President Clinton was unveiled. Many of my fellow soldiers thought this relaxing of standards was wrong based on the fact that homosexuality is deviant behavior. Being analytical, I told them that adultery was as well, and we knew several soldiers who were having affairs. My point was that no sin is worse than any other sin from a Biblical standpoint, not even suicide.

King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” No matter how much worldly progress we make on this planet, man is wicked to the core, plain and simple. It’s called the human condition and we all suffer from it; not just certain groups or lifestyles, all of us.

You’ve got to give respect to get respect. When you come across someone who believes the Koran or the Book of Mormon and expresses their beliefs, do you vilify them? I doubt it, at least in this country. Not yet anyway.

We all enjoy freedom of choice. If God gives each of us the choice between Heaven and Hell (heck, he even allowed Adam to decide what to do with the forbidden fruit), why do we need to vilify others for their choices or their beliefs?

Hate the sin, not the sinner. As a Christian, I look to the Bible for my guidance on the definition of marriage. I also have several gay friends for whom I would do anything. Christ consorted with all kinds of sinners, even very righteous ones. That doesn’t mean he condoned their lifestyles; it means he loved them.

There are people in other countries who will kill you for your beliefs. We don’t do that in America so stop trying to condemn and verbally stone each other! The double standard is revolting. The founder of Amazon.com is pro-gay marriage, as is Ben and Jerry’s, yet there is no attempt to have them barred from various cities for not reflecting, as Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel said, “the views of the city.”

Tolerance and judgment are two different things. I’m a publisher of motivational material. I don’t allow negative people to rent space in my life. Does that mean I’m judging them? No! It means I do not tolerate certain attitudes. When I worked for the government I had many different clearances. That meant I could not associate with people whose lifestyles were deemed risky. Did I judge them? No! Did I tolerate hanging out with them? No.

There is no requirement to personally tolerate every type of behavior or lifestyle. We are each free to set our own standards and, for many of us, those standards are Biblical. Our founding fathers fought and died to allow us these freedoms, and our nation exists so that each of us may live according to the dictates of our own conscience. Are you are a little out of step with society at large? March proudly anyway. You are free to do so.

20
Mar
12

why i love to fail

A young salesman asked an old-timer how he had managed to be so successful. The old timer replied “Good Judgment.” The young man then asked, “Well how do you get good judgment?” The old timer replied, “Experience.” The young man, eager to learn all he could, pressed on. “Well how do you get experience?” To which the old man replied, “Poor judgment.”

When a person begins to grow, the obstacles become bigger and better! And so do the failures. In his bestselling book, Life Is Tremendous, author Charlie “Tremendous” Jones states that we are all born with an empty psychological key ring by our side. Every experience we have in life gives us another key which we can use to move forward. Of note, failures give you double the amount of keys as successes do.

Life is tough even for the wealthiest, healthiest and smartest of us. It just is. I love Sydney J. Harris’ quote, “When I hear somebody sigh that life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?” Most people are miserable because they expect everything to go right. Plan on your plan going wrong and you’ll have a successful plan! God never breaks us down with problems except to build us up. Life isn’t to be happy—life is to be growing. And we all know there is no such thing as growth without pain.

My father always said that a sure-fire growth formula was to cram fifty years of failure into fifteen. He was right; boy was he right. In the end, it’ll all be okay; if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. So next time you fail, remember: you are in the company of the greatest individuals who have ever lived because you have stepped outside your comfort zone and become more tremendous than you were before.

 




Tremendous Tracey


CEO Tremendous Life Books. Book Evangelist

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